Why am I so quick to forget? To forget the lessons you taught me. I'm so sorry. As I stood in the shower filled with anxiety over something that has proven to be a common trigger for me, I felt like I had been hit on the head with my cast iron skillet. It's as … Continue reading Not in vain
Author: aglader
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Video
On September 28th, I was given the opportunity to share Joshua's story at the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Remembrance Walk. I was excited to be able to not only share Joshua's life and legacy alongside my dear friend Heidi's story, but also to offer hope to hurting parents.
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I wasn’t born this way.
I was born a very timid child. Laid back and flexible were my adjectives. Headstrong and stubborn weren't my defining characteristics. I was and still am a natural born rule follower. The kid who always did their homework even when the rest of the class didn't. The one whose guilt would eat me alive and … Continue reading I wasn’t born this way.
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I still see you
I see you in that preschool hallway, dropping you off for your first day, and playing with your brother at recess, while sharing snacks on the drive home. I see you wrestling with your older brother and climbing into your baby brother's crib. I see you jumping into the pool with your water wings … Continue reading I still see you
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Watching the sun rise
Have you ever had those mornings in your life when you wake up and feel like you're stuck in a bad dream? Like your worst nightmare has become your reality? Like there's this shadow that can't, won't go away? His nose, it was so perfect. And his beautiful wafer like lips. His pronounced jawline just … Continue reading Watching the sun rise
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#blessed
You see and hear it everywhere. I often come across photo captions with the hashtag "blessed". "My new grandson was just born and he's perfect! I'm so blessed! Found my soulmate #blessed. We've been so blessed to find our dream home. Life couldn't get any better!" Obviously, for most people, we consider good things as … Continue reading #blessed
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Older Than You Ever Were
Sixteen. The age my oldest brother died. I remember it being such a peculiar feeling when I turned sixteen, thinking about what it would be like if that was my last year of life, as it was for my brother. Then it was an even sadder, stranger feeling when I turned seventeen. I was now … Continue reading Older Than You Ever Were
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Jude Comes Home
My sweet son is here, Jude Daniel Glader. He's almost four weeks old as I write this. He's beautiful and healthy. Healthy. One word I took for granted with my first two babies and one word I will never take for granted again. Before and after I delivered Jude, I fielded the question, "Is this … Continue reading Jude Comes Home
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Tangible love for the invisible
As I look around at all of the gifts for care baskets accumulating and occupying more and more space in our office/playroom, I am reminded that without you, none of this would be here. It's not something we would have done anyway. Fundraising, shopping for great deals, preparing and delivering care baskets for families with … Continue reading Tangible love for the invisible
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The Pain and the Pretending
I don't talk about my dead son for sympathy votes or for attention. I don't talk about him to make you feel awkward. I want to talk about my son because he was, and always will be, my son. Parents typically love talking about their kids. That doesn't change just because they go up to … Continue reading The Pain and the Pretending
Ashley Glader 