I admit, I can't stomach Christian cliches much anymore. Like when people act like they aren't worried about something because "God is in control". Was God not in control the day I woke up to find my baby dead? Or when someone says, "It's just all a part of God's perfect plan". Really? Children being … Continue reading God’s perfect plan?
Author: aglader
Pregnancy after infant loss
Right after Josh died, we didn't know what we wanted. I didn't really want to think about another baby someday. My body was still making milk for the baby that wasn't here. I didn't want to even consider the question seriously until Joshua's one year birthday, but of course it was on my mind a … Continue reading Pregnancy after infant loss
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A lifetime lived in one year
My sweet Josh, How has it already been one year without you? It doesn't feel like it could possibly have been a year but at the same time, it feels like lifetimes ago since I held you and breathed in your sweet aroma and kissed your feathery soft hair. Every day I walk into your … Continue reading A lifetime lived in one year
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A letter to my brother, 19 years later.
John, Has it really been 19 years? It doesn't seem real, when I see your face on the news, it always seems surreal. The day you left, my world was shattered. I bet you never would have guessed that millions would know your story. That with all of the evil that happened that day, even … Continue reading A letter to my brother, 19 years later.
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Does God even care?
In different times throughout my life I've struggled with the idea that the God of the entire universe truly cares for me. Sure, I believe He loves me, as in, He loves all people and that's why He sent His son to die for us. But does He really care about ME personally? There are … Continue reading Does God even care?
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79 days plus two
This is a poem my father-in-law wrote to Joshua after Josh went to be with Jesus. I thought it was a sweet tribute to him. 79 days plus two, we hardly knew you. We got to know you, Hold you, Rock you, Feed you, Too little time to actually know you. You were my little … Continue reading 79 days plus two
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To those who will walk in my shoes:
If I could say something to those of you who will, knowingly or unknowingly walk down the road of having to say goodbye to your child until you breathe your last, I am so so sorry you have to endure this pain. Even though it doesn't feel like it, you will survive. As much as … Continue reading To those who will walk in my shoes:
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#powercouple
The people who believe in "love at first sight" have always boggled my mind. I'm definitely a romantic, but I'm also very analytical and the thought of knowing who you could love through thick and thin for the rest of your life just by looking at them, seems highly impractical in my maybe "too practical" … Continue reading #powercouple
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To those walking into a nightmare.
I'm so sorry you are here, reeling from the surreal nightmare you can't wake up from. Shock. Numbness. I'm sorry that you now have to live the rest of your life without someone who fills up so much of your heart. You said goodbye not thinking he would be entering a war zone in his … Continue reading To those walking into a nightmare.
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Living life with open hands.
Surreal. Synonyms of surreal include unreal, bizarre, unusual, weird, strange, freakish, unearthly, uncanny, dreamlike. Have you ever looked back on your life or parts of your life and just felt like it was surreal? I've felt that a lot in my life, not only with the crazy circumstances of my brother's death but now, as I watched the news story of my son. I often think, … Continue reading Living life with open hands.
Ashley Glader 