My parents recently found writings and poetry that my brother Pat had done in high school. I want to post one everyday for a while because I find them so encouraging and profound. Pat was fourteen and about to enter high school the next fall when John was murdered. I think these writings are evidence … Continue reading Pat’s Writing
Columbine/Sibling Loss
25 years since…
It's hard to believe it's been 25 years since I've seen your smile. 25 years since your truck rumbled up our street signaling you were home. 25 years since I told you I loved you. 25 years since my innocence about the world was shattered. Now, 25 years later, I look at my eleven-year-old daughter, … Continue reading 25 years since…
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I have a podcast episode!
open.spotify.com/show/3wjEPYht9yicpBhrr184aN I was a guest on this podcast. If you'd like to hear more about my story of losing my brother and a tiny bit about losing my son, have a listen. I hope it inspires something in you today. I love talking about John and Joshua because they inspire me to live better every … Continue reading I have a podcast episode!
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Older Than You Ever Were
Sixteen. The age my oldest brother died. I remember it being such a peculiar feeling when I turned sixteen, thinking about what it would be like if that was my last year of life, as it was for my brother. Then it was an even sadder, stranger feeling when I turned seventeen. I was now … Continue reading Older Than You Ever Were
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God’s perfect plan?
I admit, I can't stomach Christian cliches much anymore. Like when people act like they aren't worried about something because "God is in control". Was God not in control the day I woke up to find my baby dead? Or when someone says, "It's just all a part of God's perfect plan". Really? Children being … Continue reading God’s perfect plan?
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A letter to my brother, 19 years later.
John, Has it really been 19 years? It doesn't seem real, when I see your face on the news, it always seems surreal. The day you left, my world was shattered. I bet you never would have guessed that millions would know your story. That with all of the evil that happened that day, even … Continue reading A letter to my brother, 19 years later.
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To those walking into a nightmare.
I'm so sorry you are here, reeling from the surreal nightmare you can't wake up from. Shock. Numbness. I'm sorry that you now have to live the rest of your life without someone who fills up so much of your heart. You said goodbye not thinking he would be entering a war zone in his … Continue reading To those walking into a nightmare.
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The Fourth Pallbearer
Planning Joshua's funeral was horrible. No one wants to think about planning their child's funeral service. All the decisions, all the expenses, all the talk about embalming and caskets. It's like planning a wedding except you only get a week or two, you are in a cloud of grief and shock, and at the end, … Continue reading The Fourth Pallbearer
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The Media
It is a common misconception that the more media attention an individual or event gets, the more important it is. Why do so many people want to be on t.v.? Does the fact that they are on t.v. and watched by a large audience somehow make that person more important or valuable? Our society … Continue reading The Media
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Comparing Suffering
A broken heart is a broken heart, right? Or is it? No doubt about it, some types of suffering impact our lives much more than other types. For example, the death of a pet is painful, though it probably wouldn't impact and change our lives the way the death of a loved one might. However, … Continue reading Comparing Suffering
Ashley Glader 