The last post about my brother’s truck, is the only post I’ve written since my 40 year old brother went to join my other brother and my son in heaven, nearing five months ago now. He died the day after my birthday, on a freezing cold day in Wisconsin. It was a heartbreaking five and a half years, watching my tall, strong brother, fight stage four colon cancer. I had the impression that in circumstances like this, most of your grief would have already been grieved before the death, but I haven’t found that to be the case. Nevertheless, Pat fought the good fight, and ran the race. He is in no more pain, so I try to stop my mind from lingering too long on my memories of his pain and suffering. He inspires me everyday. He inspires me to be me, unapologetically. He inspires me to share God with others and to search for and embrace all the good life has to offer, because it’s truly short, and Pat always found things to look forward to.

I did a podcast episode, honoring Pat’s life. I’ll link it here and I’d be honored if you’d listen. I hope it can bless you in some small way. Also, the last few months have been a whirlwind of deciding to pursue my dream of writing a memoir. It’s a long process, but it’s exciting and a lifelong dream. I will keep you updated on any progressions on that front as they happen.

Also, just a few days ago, I opened up the mail to find a final letter from my brother. He related to me how much we had been through together, how words couldn’t express his love for me, and repeatedly told me to give all I am to God…to give up any illusion of control I think I might have, and to just surrender myself to God. I don’t think we will get to heaven and have remorse about the things we didn’t buy or the trips we didn’t’ get to go on, I think we may however, wish that maybe we could have lived more “all in” for God. That’s my goal. Not every day is going to feel productive or even like I’m doing much for God at all but if I can obey God in what I think He may be leading me to do, that’s enough.

Until next time,